[ Thursday, February 20, 2003 ]
aggggfuck.
just finished reading "the manual", by the klf... "how to get a number one hit in the u.k."... i don't know if i'm inspired or horrified or depressed by it or what... i think all three. http://dillonstars.hilken.co.uk/reedallbootit/the-manual.txt
ya... i like the idea of the mad crazy ride. but could it really be pulled off? we'll see. maybe this summer when i finally get the fuck out of here, quit this mind numbing place, if i have enough soul left, bubbling up like hot springs.
more crazy dreams. the house (not the real one i live in, a nice one) was surrounded by cops/military. like the atf at waco kinda deal, all outside, all heavily armed, pointing their guns at us... i can't remember who was in the house, i think my brother was there. anyways, it was about to get ugly...as i remember someone saying in the dream "those guys look dangerous, really dangerous". i think i ended up going into the kitchen and duct taping kitchen knives to my legs, so that i'd have weapons on me. like in taxi driver or something
somebody fucking stole bens bike from in front of my house!! i can't believe it! so shit. i mean, the bike was a death trap, pure danger and death. but still! i did mean to get it back to him. faack. fucking city. i need to get outta this place, too many damn junkies and crackheads and weirdos ripping everything off, and i feel like its going to get worse before it gets better.
ahckch... what else? i don't know... i'm just trying to not go crazy. well. i'm trying to not react too extremely to a temporary situation that is driving me up the wall with its banality. i'm trying not to fuck everything up and maintain. i don't really know how well i'm doing. life is fucking with me, it feels like. i feel really distracted from what i should be doing, and i'm not quite sure what that is. essentially i need to hook up with people who truly believe in the possibilities and are willing to work hard to try to make it happen... and if all else fails, follow the manual.
i feel like the recording side of things is much easier now than it was in the late eighties when they did their shit, you just need someone who understands protools, you don't need to muck about with all that fucking tape. but still,... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhh.
at least its "little friday"
Escaper [2/20/2003 01:03:00 PM]