[ Monday, March 10, 2003 ]
had a pretty good weekend, although didn't really accomplish any of the things intended... ah well. that is the way it goes sometimes... Saturday was that mike characters birthday, 30! damn... numbers/age... its all so bizarre. it was a good time, got pretty soused, tequila preceded by mudslides... had intended to clean up the house, but instead its now in a worse state than ever... so jasa and i have planned tonight to make it into the worst mess possible, hoping that as the reverse of our cleaning intentions is what is generally manifested, by bedtime the place'll be in a tidy and liveable state. lets hope so, i think the squalor is fucking with our heads... i'm really starting to hate that house,... MUST ESCAPE!! it seems like the house is a manifestation of the whole city... it sickens me, and brings me down, but at the same time i'm comfortable there... funny dichotomy things... i wonder sometimes if it is worth it to fly the coop and try to find something better somewhere else. when i can approach it rationally i feel like it is probably the only reasonable thing to do, to get off of this ship before it sinks right to the bottom... but its also hard to contemplate leaving, because on a number of levels, things here keep getting better and better for me, but at the same time, on other levels it gets worse and worse... bizarreness.i'm hoping that montreal is a good option for the next place of habitation. i feel like there is probably a more receptive world out there for artistic expression, but who knows. it's a little overwhelming at times, trying to look at the whole world and wonder where the best place to go is. i guess even if you try , though, you can't predict what'll happen, so its best not to run it over and over in the mind too much. like one of those crazy equations which can't be predicted, you just have to let it run its course.
jasa and myself went for a good walk yesterday, out towards where, point grey? i guess so... anyways, it was good, walking amongst the trees and houses, almost the illusion of something rural. it really made me want to be out in the countryside, specifically the welsh countryside, the hills, the sheep. the quiet! arrh...
yeah, so i think the yard sale season has begun...fuck... its so not cool... it better not be every fucking weekend, its such an invasion of privacy, like, they are right outside our bedroom window, from 9:30 or something, maybe even earlier. once in a while, fine, y'know, that's cool, whatever, a normal garage/yard sale is fine, its great, even... but turning our yard into a fucking market is NOT on. I don't know what to do about it though. gotta move. maybe i should call sue. fucking stupid bitch slum lord that she is. the house stresses me out. i just don't think the love of mine is really in a financial position to move right now... well, we'll figure something out soon, i hope.
yarrh.
so montreal it is then... fuck, i don't know how i'll cope with the frozen fucking winters, though. stay indoors and drink and play guitar, i guess. that'll be good. ffffffff.
Escaper [3/10/2003 02:52:00 PM]
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